Do you draw lines in your sandbox?

Inventory your sandbox.

So, my intention with the blog is to blog about all things that surround taking good care of oneself and living in the most authentic, sustainable, hard working and loving way.  Less days or moments of feeling blah and more moments of feeling alive and well and able to tackle whatever life throws at ya.

With the Corona Quarantine which I feel should have some sort of acronym by now so I’ll call it CQ not to be confused with GQ or QVC- I’ve been reading a good bit and just finished the book “Girl Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis.  I had a couple favorite parts of the book but the underlying theme that I loved is pointing out the lies we can tell ourselves and the psychological component to not feeling well or living well or even digesting our foods or feelings well.  And for women, I do believe this is rampant.  For whatever reason, not to place blame or shame, I have met SO MANY WOMEN from SO MANY DIFFERENT PLACES and we are some harsh inner critics with a tough time sometimes loving ourselves and even if we get to that point of loving ourselves – can we do that and support other women as they succeed or does it push our demons to the front again only to wrestle them down again in an exhausting fight to get to the good stuff?  How many of us have to recreate ourselves after we become moms and this seems to send some of us into a very stressed space of depletion wondering how to make a life again.  Well, she has some awesome pointers.  So rather than hypothesize as to whether Barbie or the Palmolive commercials fuc*ed us all for good – I love love that she has built a business and a community of the likeness that exists in us women ALL OVER THE WORLD.  It takes all the lines out of the sandbox.

She talks about how she grew up as a Christian but fully loves and accepts someone if they are Christian or Muslim or Buddhist or Jedi or if they like the same sex or if they are married to one and only one political party.  She recognizes that the ability to seek out community with people that are different than us leads to growth and the result – a stronger version of ourselves.  I remember walking into LUSH one day – one of my favorite stores and if you haven’t been– it’s a magical place with lots of skin/hair care and yummy smelling products to nourish your body and on the containers it tells you who it was made by and the date with this cute cartoon pic of the maker.  It makes the entire experience so personal & human.   I wish they did that on cereal boxes.  They had a box at the front to write down a stereotype and put it in the box for no reason other than acknowledgement that this exists.  I thought of many.  Some that have impacted my life and some that I have thought.  For ex.  Women are bad drivers.  Stay at home moms are “just” housewives.  Swiss are stiff.  Men can’t cry.  Gay men wear purple and pink.  White men can’t jump.  Rich white men golf.  Italians eat a lot of pasta. Americans are fat and lazy.  The list could go on and on.  What I liked about this exercise is it reminded me to be more self aware of my own and the ones that I sometimes use to lie to myself and keep me in the state of unwell.  Like if I’m not of a specific weight- then I can’t succeed until I fix that.  Luckily many women have broken through that and to them, I applaud.

When I was in Switzerland I had the opportunity to meet people from ALL over and sometimes there were similarities and other times I was able to have what I call a “moment” or a good time with someone from a completely different walk of life simply because we were able to be exactly in that moment, guard down, ourselves, and accepting.  We were able to play in an area of the sandbox with no lines and no judgement.  This is where the magic happens, this is where union came, and a lot of growth for me.  Other times I had to find my voice and navigate how do I get them to see me for me and not their labels?   “Yes, I am from America.  No I didn’t vote for Trump.  Please don’t blame me for the world’s problems.”  “No I don’t speak your language but I did a duolingo lesson yesterday and am not totally ignorant.” We are different and there are times maybe a side has to be chosen for a moment, but not for eternity.  If there’s a dispute then I like to state my case but also see and hear the other’s side and clear than line that was drawn quickly.  I feel like in life sometimes I felt like I was being asked to pick a side for instance between working/full time moms, republicans/democrats, medicine/natural, big business/small business and I have thought and thought and the truth is in different moments I see different things and I think this world has a place for all.  The more these lines are cleared and we choose to play in the same sandbox – the more human it all feels.

So back to us women, sometimes we get labeled as broken or crazy or hormonal  or too nice or too assertive or we think that a failed diet, failed relationship, failed marriage, or failed job equates to us being a failure and this is so far from the truth.  If we put all of us in a sandbox and we eliminate the lines – what would we see? Would we appreciate each other more? Would we be able to stand tall in who we are yet fully love someone else?  – I think part of what we would see are years of strength, courage, wisdom, and collective energy that can guide us towards collective healing.  I think now is a good time to ask what your own lines are, where did they come from, and have you done work to erase them or at least be aware of them as they arise.

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