So last night I had the pleasure of attending a Confidence Cards Party hosted by the lovely Hannah Bennett and put on by Dr. Lyz from Visionistas by Design.
Dr Lyz is a Licensed Psychologist in Nazareth PA and Hannah is a senior at Bloomsburg College studying to be a Psychologist. I also know Hannah on a personal level as I met her through her beautiful mother and good friend, Joy. Dr Lyz created the Visionistas by Design series as a place for women to get together, share their experiences, connect, inspire, and increase awareness to psychological concepts that affect our well being, relationships, and energy.
I personally think that when people are mean to each other, verbally or physically (whether its woman to woman, child to child, adult to child, man to man, or man to woman) – it typically stems from something inside that is “off” and maybe they haven’t found the desire to yet look within or the ability to handle their emotions first before approaching someone else and building healthy relationships and communication that ultimately contain conflict, resolution, unity, growth and love. To me, faith and confidence are an inner fight not an outer fix yet we live in a world that may sell us stuff to fix ourselves or boost our confidence ALL THE TIME.
Personally, I have struggled for years with body image and acceptance and have finally hit a turning point about 6 or 7 years ago (both cancer and having a baby helped me lean into this) – where my internal world matters a lot more than my external world. And my inner gifts are there to share despite what my external world looks like. Do I want to build a better body? Sure. Do I sometimes see my greys – sure. And I work on myself every day. But I work on it from the inside out and from a place of love and nourishment not punishment.
I remember a priest once describing God’s love as this cloak he puts over you. One of protection, of light, of acceptance, and of joy for who you are. He went on to say that sometimes that is what a husband provides to his wife. And as independent as I am, I found that when I moved to Switzerland leaving my job and old identity behind, I found comfort when he was there with me to meet new people and explore new places. Was it empowering to do some of this alone – for sure! But was there also something very amazing and very human – that we could be that cloak at times for one another, if we let ourselves be vulnerable and let each other in to our dark. However, I also realized that the more I strengthened the person under that cloak – the less I had to rely on him or others and the more I could provide that cloak to those in need. This was pivotal.
And so strengthening I have worked on now for years and I can also say it has helped in my marriage. I remember Stan and I watching Brene Brown on Netflix talk about her and her husband on vacation getting into a spat in the middle of a lake because they were both going through their own individual blame and shame game at the same time which is a recipe for an argument. Yet they had the tools to address what they were feeling with one another after they calmed down and could see how off they were in their interpretation of the exchange. That feels so much healthier than calling one another names, insulting each other, or saying things that may hurt.
So the party was about strengthening our cloaks by making this little book of inspiring quotes to remind us how wonderful we are, how beautiful life is, and how even though we have struggles – we are resilient. Hannah went over some key tips on taking care of ourselves during COVID and as the world opens up because there WILL BE social anxiety experienced. We haven’t hung out in a while in large groups. We have had time to sit on our own or with our family and for some of us it has been life changing and strengthening and for some of us – it has been dark and weakening and maybe for some – a bit of both.
We shared quotes and played music and got our creative juices flowing TOGETHER. Hannah used these adorable fruit coasters to put hers on and I used scrap book paper I found in my basement and tied them together with a curly ribbon. Another woman clothes pinned her cards to a cute little string to hang in her art studio and pull down one when she needs to. I even found this pic using lights!
And boy – do I love Christmas lights. Since some of the quotes had to do with super hero’s that typically wear cloaks or capes – I had some extra time whilst on the call (I looked up my quotes previously) – I drew these two pics of Joy and I as our own super heroines. This may sounds super cheezy to some but I love me some cheeze.
Words of affirmation is my love language so finding quotes to talk to myself in this way – I find amazingly healing, empowering, human, a way to face my suffering and overall – right up my alley. You can keep this “confidence card book” in your purse for anytime you need a boost. It’s a bit different than a pill or soda or a piece of chocolate. I wanted to share with you a few of my favorite quotes that I found. Feel free to comment and share yours!
“Letting go is the hardest asana.”
“See the beauty and grace in the world around you. Recognize it and appreciate it. Then see the beauty in yourself.” – Kino MacGregor
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” – Maya Angelou
“Be Yourself. Everyone else is taken.” – Oscar Wilde
Please check out future virtual events sponsored by Visionistas by Design on Instagram @visionistasbydesign
and Hannah @ hannahbennett99